Last Chapter of Life (Part 6: Spirits)

Sometimes, I just don't want to stay at home, don't want to be with her. I know it sounds negative, but at least I am true and honest to myself.

I tried spending time with her, but she is a total stranger to me. In that familiar figure of hers (with two sizes down), trapped a soul that doesn't belong to this world anymore. Her behavior these two months prove one thing to me - the Existence of Spirits.

She sees them everyday. I freaked out initially when she scares me with what she sees (but I don't). But as time past, I am vaccinated with a bit of knowledge about 'Life and Karma'  and I developed immunity towards her abnormal behaviors. So today, I am gonna flip my memory back to that fearful night...............

I was sleeping on her bed for the ease of taking care of her at night (she was sleeping on her rented ripple mattress). She woke me up in the middle of the night, asking me about the girl who slept on my bed.....without much thought, I turned on the lights and told her, she has mistaken her bolster (which was lying on my bed) as a girl on my bed, then I convinced her to bed.

That night, she woke me up several times, asking the same question: 'Who is that girl sleeping on your bed?'
.................I don't know if it's my frustration or what, somehow, the more she questioned about it, the more I got convinced about its heart beats faster 'GOSH!! Please don't tell me it's real!......'......

The next day, I heard from my family about the full story:
She said she saw a girl with messy long hair, dressed in white, sleeping on my bed. Then she went to my dressing table, picked up my comb, tidied up her messy hair and vanished through the 'door' (it's actually a window)! .........*goose bumps*...........ahh...ahhhh ahhhh.....GELIK LEH......!!!!

That same week, when I was watching TV in the living room ALONE. She called me into the bedroom (we left the door open so we can check on her from time to time). She asked 'Who is that girl watching TV with you?'......................................................................@.@|||......................................My Jaw dropped!!!.....Goose Bumps kicked in........Why is my back suddenly so cool one???? .......I ran upstairs to reach my Mom!!.....'Ma ~!!! Where is your Buddhist Prayer Beads??......I need all of them!!! Ah Mah, is seeing 'things' again!!!  >,<|||.........Ma, sleep with me tonight?!' *chickened out*

We armed ourselves with ALL the Buddhist Prayer Beads that we have, I put one next to granny, one on my dressing table, another one on my bedside table, and we both put on one each! I set up my room like a battle array!!!...... Quailing with fear, I just couldn't sleep that night!....

Miraculously, grandma never mentioned about the girl again! So you think everything is resolved????....

The girl is gone alright....but she now sees a 'Ah Pek' in our garden (=.= at least it's not inside house) Whenever evening hits in, she will behave abnormally, asking me to pack her pillow, her clothes, telling me that someone is waiting for her outside and she needs to catch a car to Kuching to go home!!!...'But we are already in Kuching!' I told her. 'See, your bed, your closet, all of us are here. You are already home!'......

She ignored my words as if she was hypnotized. Advice: Do what she asked or she will get mad and start cursing again. *sigh* I felt silly whenever I obey her commands. Why am I listening to her when she is not her normal self ?????

Recently, my mom helped to arrangement for my grandma to convert to Buddhism under her will. Then, I learnt that, in the teaching of Buddhism, it was believed that whatever sinful deeds we have committed this life, we should repent devoutly and repay it this life. Or else, they would disguise as our late family members/ friends to deceive the dying soul. But, if you repent your mistake sincerely and pray whole-heartedly, Buddha will send lotus to lead you to Elysium.

So really, what is happening with her is Karma.

I have been hiding up at my Bro's cozy little living room for a while now, to break free from her irrational requests. I think she should be asleep now. phew~! *safe for the night*


  1. Hi

    I can really relate to your story :) My grandma has almost the same exact experience. 6-7 years ago, she fell down and was sent to the hospital. That's where she started to 'see' things. She saw lots of ants, and paddy field. Then she cursed (never in my life i hear her curse) at my aunt who was in the hospital with her and she cursed at my cousin who wanted to feed her medicine and accused her of poisoning her. When she stays with us, I was sharing the room with her coz i was taking care of her at night. She will sleep for 2-3 days and then awake for the next 48 hours straight. When she is awake, she starts to see things like what your grandma is seeing. Sometimes, she hears baby crying, she sees my late grandpa, etc etc. Initially i was soooo terrified but for a few rounds, i know she is just hallucinating.

    I hope you wont be scared and be brave. She is really just hallucinating. My grandma is now bed ridden and seldom talk. In fact, if you ask me now, i miss her 48 hours non-stop talking nonsense time. But when i was experiencing it, i was mad and stress :(

  2. Hi, thank you for the message :). I really appreciate it. To know that someone else have been through the same thing and felt the same way I did does give some comfort :).

    I am not scared anymore and started to accept that this is the way it is. Science called it hallucinating, religion called it 'debt'. Whichever it is, I just felt sorry for her for being so restless everyday, she even planned to ran away from home cause 'someone' is waiting for her. :(

    We play her Buddhism music everyday, hoping that she can be at peace.

    Your grandma might be quiet but I believe she can feel you. Make sure you do some 'turning' on your grandma and apply lotion/cream at bony areas to prevent bedsore. You can rent a ripple mattress too to reduce the likelihood of skin break.

    All the best for both of us! :):)

  3. Have you tried Jesus?


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