Patient 1
I have so much to say right now....so many things running through my head.....and I know I need to write this down to sort my thinking out......
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I went ICU this morning....and was caught with the beeping sound....looking around...I found the source.....it was the monitoring screen....showing straight lines.....sign of lifeless.....with the curtain half pulled from where I was standing I saw the medical team rescuing him......
I walked past the bed and move to see my patient....who was just lying next to him......my heart sank....the beeping sound was still there....my mind was blank......
Just yesterday I saw the patient struggling to breathe....I alerted the nurse....only then I was told he was a time bomb...he shall go anytime........
Never have I expected to see the time bomb exploded during my ward round.........there was nothing I can do for that man....my mind went blank again....staring at the patient in front of me.......another one struggling with his life....'I can only do my best with his nutrition needs....please recover!'.......
The doctor certified that man........he is gone now.....the curtain pulled open to let his family in....just right after the curtain was closed....the cries of pain filled in ICU..............speechless....the pain spread to my heart.....I felt so sorry for them........
Standing next to me....Dr C was saying' I am sorry about the lost of your father...is there anything I can do for you??'........The son looked at the curtain.....quietly.....I saw the tears rolling in this eyes.....that one big strong man standing in front of me....at his weakness moment of his life.....I felt his pain...........
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Life....that is what it is.....not only it's a matter of breathing or not......but more to it....the process of being alive when we are still living.....so tell me....if we can forgive...why blame?....if we can smile...why cry?....if we can love...why hate?.....after all....LIFE IS A CONSCIOUS CHOICE......just that we don't have the AUTHORITY TO CHOOSE THE DAY WE END IT......so live fully.....
ahh...after this...I really wanted to rush home and hug my family..........~
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